Daniellas Wacky Diner [map]
384 New Road
Last Visited: November 2011
Evoking images of Timmy Mallet's appearances on UK Breakfast TV in the 1980’s, Shoreham can boast to having one of the more interesting names for one of it's many cafes. Always a sucker for cleaver marketing it was inevitable that we would pay them a visit and see whether Daniella was really that wacky?
Found just one door away from the areas other greasy spoon, The Shoreham Diner, it seemed on arrival that we had picked the more popular of the two places to start our day. Ordering at the counter we were presented with a very well used plastic breakfast menu and an enormous chalk board menu display. Both reflected the classic, but dated styling of the cafe. From its current appearance it looked like it had been quite some time since the interior had been spruced up. The table cloths, plates and refillable sauce bottle had all seen more than their fair share of use. Rather than detract, this added to the character of the place.
The breakfast menu was full of all the usual favourites. It had various sized fry-up’s, traditional favourites on toast and classic English breakfasts such as kippers. The most interesting thing about them was that their prices had been “marked down”, the first time we had seen a 'sale' in a cafe. With a hot drink and bread included with the fryups even the biggest fry-up (now £5) was extremely enticing to try out and another factor in luring us in over visiting the rival cafe next door. My choice for the day was “The Big Wacky”, a name which should have given me an inkling of the enormous task which was ahead of me.
Made up of two sausages, eggs (substituted for another slice of bacon and a sausage), two rashers of bacon, beans, mushrooms, chips (or sauté potatoes), fried bread (or toast) and a cup of tea (or coffee), this was a portion that would test even the most hardened breakfast veteran. The quality of the ingredients was not the best and as many of the tin and packs were stacked around our table, I can say that they were all of average catering standard. But if you are looking for a true greasy spoon and value quantity above quality, then this is the place for you.
All items were adequately fried/grilled, delivered after just a short wait and were piping hot on arrival. So hot in fact that I had to let the chips cool down for a bit before I started. The fried bread had a weird “sweet” taste to it; but this can either be put down to the HP sauce I smothered it in, or the fact that something sweet at some point may have been fried in the oil. A cheeky deep fried Mars bar perhaps?
Though the sign may say “wacky” outside, but what we found was far from it. Eccentric, yes; unique, definitely. But I enjoyed it in the same way which we still like “Terry and June” or certain “Carry-On films”. Out of date, but a living history of how we used to be. In fact Sid James crudely laughing over a smutty joke and slapping Babs Windsor on the posterior was all that was missing. Perhaps next time?