The Breakfast Menu Breakfast reviews from the South Coast and beyond


The Chequer Inn, Steyning

The Chequer Inn [map]
41 High Street
West Sussex  BN44 3RE
Tel: 01903 814437

Opening Hours: Breakfast is served Monday to Saturday, 10:00am - 12 Midday and on Sunday from 10:00am - 11:30am

Last Visited: March 2011

When a breakfast menu taunts you with the slogan, "If this was your last day on earth, this is what you’d have for breakfast..." , it's difficult to pass up an invitation. So with our last supper potentially on the plate in front of us, would we find breakfast heaven or would it really be the Armageddon waiting for us?

n.b - Unfortunately our usual camera was left at TBM hq so Mr. Chipolata's new Windows phone came to the rescue, better pics will be coming from an imminent re-visit!

Mr NoEggs:

A glance at one of the photos I had taken during a previous trip to Steyning revealed that a pub menu was home to what could be the biggest breakfast in Sussex. Along with the bombastic claims of the menu, I expected a fairly riotous event, on arrival I found an empty pub amongst a village brimming with busy cafes. “Why was it empty? Did their menu offer false promises?  Is the breakfast all talk?” There was only one way to stop these thoughts, as soon as the lads arrived I decided to put them to the claims to the test and ordered the fabled Armageddon.

Suddenly, it was upon me. Four sausages, four bacon rashers, four hash browns, black pudding, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms and fried bread (oh and two eggs- boo!). With 9 meat based items on one pipping hot plate, make sure you take a hankie with you as the meat sweats arrive eventually, this is no walk in the park. The superb sausages from a local supplier were as good as they looked and along with the tasty black pudding we all agreed that we were eating something special.

I just did not expect a “novelty” breakfast to have such high quality ingredients and I was also very surprised that more people weren't eating here. The inclusion of tea, coffee or (if you can possibly fit in an extra 100 calories) hot chocolate with this behemoth breakfast made its value for money (all this was just £10) even greater.

When we go back I would like to say that I would decide to savour the quality and have one of their smaller breakfasts, but I know that the temptation of the 'end of days' and the Armageddon will make another appearance.  If this breakfast was my last, this is exactly how I would have it, kicking and screaming till the last bite.


Mr Chipolata:

I can only echo Mr NoEggs thoughts on what can only be described as a pretty legendary breakfast. Not necessarily winning awards in terms of originality or even ingredient quality, everything was as good as you could hope for on a plate of the classic British fry-up. The sausages were delicious, absolutely enormous and luckily for me only came as a twosome on my slightly less apocalyptic breakfast. The black pudding was also astoundingly good, easily my favourite ingredient but just about everything was competing for my favour. In equally high regard I would have to mention the fried bread which was just the right amount of "oh so bad" and "oh so good".

By the end of our grub I would have been tempted by a post breakfast pint (in fact, at the time I was tempted to have one alongside the breakfast) but I was so full and content that I could barely move. The staff made us feel really welcome, proud of our attempts at the armageddon, and always very smiley especially among the locals who had already started waltzing in by 11:30.

This is truly a classic "lads" fry-up, if ever there was a hangover cure that needed to be of biblical proportions to follow an equally sinful night before, this is it.


Portion Size: ★★★★★
Value For Money: ★★★★☆
Service: ★★★★☆
Ingredient Quality: ★★★★½
Overall: ★★★★½

  • zippy

    This was something to look forward to.. after a misty and cold ride down to Steyning the thought of the Armageddon appealed although it wasn’t ever going to be reality… Instead I opted for the large traditional English… and it didn’t disappoint. Extremely good quality and great value for money… ” sausages, bacon, black pudding, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, hash browns, toast, coffee… This is one of the best breakfast’s I’ve had on my Sunday bike tours… maybe even the best. Perfect.

    • Mr NoEggs

      We are glad you enjoyed it Zippy. It’s worth giving the Armageddon a go as well, I still feel disappointed that Count Cumberland beat me last time! I think we are due another challenge soon though 🙂

    • Mr. Chipolata

      I like your style zippy. I think you would like the breakfast at Teddys as well, go for the Teddys Fry Up but maybe get beans to add a bit of moisture. The standard is very good but a tad dry.

      • zippy

        Thanks Mr Chipolata.. I might give that a go – we’ll see if the weather is fitting for a coastal excursion this weekend…. Incidentally.. the ‘Departure Lounge’ cafe on the A339 Alton to Basingstoke road also provides a very nice breakfast in a spotlessly clean environment….. (It even impressed Bob and he runs his own cleaning business!) I think it was about £7 for 1 sausage, several rashers of good quality bacon, 2 fried eggs, 2 crusty slices of toast, beans, tomato (fresh) and mushrooms. And coffee of course. Worth a visit!

  • Jonathan Hanes

    A friend and visited yesterday morning for a Armageddon breakfast, it’s getting more difficult to find places which serve a good breakfast using quality produce. This is one of the few places which offer a excellent breakfast and cater for even the largest of appetites…
    If thoroughly recommend anyone looking for a BIG breakfast to try this nice relaxed atmosphere pub.
    I know i will be coming back…

    • Mr. Chipolata

      Great to hear someone else enjoying the Armageddon. Did you both see it through to the end?

  • allegoricus

    The Checker breakfast truly is an experience, but I would withhold points for the sausage. Don’t get me wrong, they were nicely seasoned and tasty, but I’m accustomed to a higher meat content and, texture-wise, these had more of the character of coming from the baker’s than the butcher’s.

    • Mr. Chipolata

      I would agree, but a good breakfast overall. Just be glad they didn’t come from the candlestick makers!