The Breakfast Menu Breakfast reviews from the South Coast and beyond


The Chequer Inn, Steyning

The Chequer Inn [map]
41 High Street
West Sussex  BN44 3RE
Tel: 01903 814437

Opening Hours: Breakfast is served Monday to Saturday, 10:00am - 12 Midday and on Sunday from 10:00am - 11:30am

Last Visited: March 2011

When a breakfast menu taunts you with the slogan, "If this was your last day on earth, this is what you’d have for breakfast..." , it's difficult to pass up an invitation. So with our last supper potentially on the plate in front of us, would we find breakfast heaven or would it really be the Armageddon waiting for us?

n.b - Unfortunately our usual camera was left at TBM hq so Mr. Chipolata's new Windows phone came to the rescue, better pics will be coming from an imminent re-visit!

Mr NoEggs:

A glance at one of the photos I had taken during a previous trip to Steyning revealed that a pub menu was home to what could be the biggest breakfast in Sussex. Along with the bombastic claims of the menu, I expected a fairly riotous event, on arrival I found an empty pub amongst a village brimming with busy cafes. “Why was it empty? Did their menu offer false promises?  Is the breakfast all talk?” There was only one way to stop these thoughts, as soon as the lads arrived I decided to put them to the claims to the test and ordered the fabled Armageddon.

Suddenly, it was upon me. Four sausages, four bacon rashers, four hash browns, black pudding, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms and fried bread (oh and two eggs- boo!). With 9 meat based items on one pipping hot plate, make sure you take a hankie with you as the meat sweats arrive eventually, this is no walk in the park. The superb sausages from a local supplier were as good as they looked and along with the tasty black pudding we all agreed that we were eating something special.

I just did not expect a “novelty” breakfast to have such high quality ingredients and I was also very surprised that more people weren't eating here. The inclusion of tea, coffee or (if you can possibly fit in an extra 100 calories) hot chocolate with this behemoth breakfast made its value for money (all this was just £10) even greater.

When we go back I would like to say that I would decide to savour the quality and have one of their smaller breakfasts, but I know that the temptation of the 'end of days' and the Armageddon will make another appearance.  If this breakfast was my last, this is exactly how I would have it, kicking and screaming till the last bite.


Mr Chipolata:

I can only echo Mr NoEggs thoughts on what can only be described as a pretty legendary breakfast. Not necessarily winning awards in terms of originality or even ingredient quality, everything was as good as you could hope for on a plate of the classic British fry-up. The sausages were delicious, absolutely enormous and luckily for me only came as a twosome on my slightly less apocalyptic breakfast. The black pudding was also astoundingly good, easily my favourite ingredient but just about everything was competing for my favour. In equally high regard I would have to mention the fried bread which was just the right amount of "oh so bad" and "oh so good".

By the end of our grub I would have been tempted by a post breakfast pint (in fact, at the time I was tempted to have one alongside the breakfast) but I was so full and content that I could barely move. The staff made us feel really welcome, proud of our attempts at the armageddon, and always very smiley especially among the locals who had already started waltzing in by 11:30.

This is truly a classic "lads" fry-up, if ever there was a hangover cure that needed to be of biblical proportions to follow an equally sinful night before, this is it.


Portion Size: ★★★★★
Value For Money: ★★★★☆
Service: ★★★★☆
Ingredient Quality: ★★★★½
Overall: ★★★★½